Spent the past few days chewing over the whole concept of time as I worked on the September schedule of fitness classes. I try to visualize everyone who comes in, what their schedules and even their lives look like! In my profession, I get the rare opportunity of helping people slow down and take a break for themselves. I hear tales of busyness, stress, and how much they long to slow down! I remark quite often myself on how busy I am, and am forever claiming to be “working on” slowing things down! I come from a long line of do-ers and have even shared the lovely trait of MORE (the pursuit of more also called Fear Of Missing Out or FOMO!) with at least one of my children. In light of all of this busyness, my question is this: What would happen if we would start taking time out of our busy lives to REALLY live??! What would it look like? And what drives that nagging urge to keep moving?
What does “Really living” mean to you? What would you do with your time? Would it be what you’re doing right now??
Believe it or not, I don’t get a kickback from the AA people for mentioning them every time I write a post! I do so because their program has had such a huge impact on not only on my life, but also the lives of my husband & children (as well as other people’s lives we are a part of). Their Twelve Step program went above & beyond helping me to quit drinking. It helped me learn how to live my life more effectively. Their program is rich with insight into our behaviors as well as how to understand & correct (by this I mean Accept, Forgive and Be Willing to start to move away from those behaviors) and move away from ways that are no longer serving us. And finding ways that do! ( Ways that do NEVER includes being so busy we can’t take care of ourselves. It also never includes skipping over the work we need to do to get to the core of our behaviors.)
Whatever it is you know you need to do more of….ask yourself why you don’t do it? Take some time to get quiet and really LISTEN. Without judgement.
My recurring struggle at this season of my life is poor eating choices. (Abyssmal is more the proper adjective here. Hey, being honest!) Okay, so WHY do I make poor eating choices?? It’s not for lack of knowledge or understanding that I’m making these choices! I “get” that these choices are NOT helping me meet my goals of better health!
So what gives??
Well, I eat poorly because I’m a poor planner. So why am I a poor planner?
Because I don’t have enough time.
Why don’t I have enough time?
Because I have too much to do. I’m over-booked in some way. (By the way, this adds stress to our lives. And when we have stress in our lives, we tend to look for ways to escape. Enter drinking too much, spending money frivolously, etc…there are countless ways to check-out.).
I’m a people-pleaser from WAY back. Which really means this: I have to DO things to make people like me; I’m not enough on my own. I have to EARN acceptance.
I don’t want to slow down and have to sit with my thoughts. I prefer to just keep running and rushing. This helps me not to have to feel. Feeling hurts. Steer clear of feeling. Keep piling more things on my to-do list and I never have time to feel.
Somewhere along the line, I fell for the lie that busier is better. Our culture pushes the glorification of busyness. The more we DO, the better we feel about ourselves. Our identity is tied up in WHAT WE DO!
Friends, these are some deep questions to ask ourselves and they always lead back to the heart. We don’t do anything “just for the heck of it”! There’s always a reason that we do the things we do. It leads back to what we BELIEVE in our hearts. About who we are and where our self-worth comes from.
That can be a scary place for some of us to go. I know it always was for me. I still often do not like what I find there, but I KNOW that I am a work in progress and I am committed to keeping up the work! I know I’m here to love people and help them love themselves. We’ve all been through some junk. Not one of us makes it through life unscathed, and in fact, MANY of us have been victims of some type of trauma in our lives and are busy just trying to get by as painlessly as possible at this point. We drag our baggage along with us, collapsing under the load at times.
What better way to lighten the load of a fellow traveler on this journey then by letting them know they are not alone? A truly priceless gift!
My challenge to you today is to think about what you’re busy doing. Then ask yourself… why?? Think it all the way through to the end. Who benefits? What is the payoff? What is the lie, if any, we are believing? Am I avoiding something or someone (or even myself??) by my constant busyness? Who needs me? What do I need to do for MYSELF that I’m not doing because I’m too busy??
On a side note:
This post went a totally different direction than planned. (Ain’t that life for ya anyways? Thinking you’re starting HERE and ending up over THERE, but sometimes that’s a really good thing!) It started out as a post about finding/making more time for exercise, but ended up going a bit deeper! I decided to go with what was on my heart this morning…..Hopefully it gave you something to think about, if nothing else!
Really hoping that you know & understand that we all have a purpose in our short lives and it goes way beyond just getting stuff done. It’s not really about stuff at all! Its about people and love and human connection. Things that we have to fight for in our busy world. But these are all the things that, in the end, add up to a truly FULL & healthy life.
Wishing you a weekend of very little labor on this Labor Day holiday!